My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
