So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The best revenge is premature balding
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
