I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Randomize
