Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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