I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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