I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize