it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
