Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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