Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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