im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
sex in a hospital.. check
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
