Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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