Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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