ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
