That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
