i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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