me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
