just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
