It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize