Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
