are you still at the devil's house?
I'm jealous of your bromance
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
