In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
