maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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