guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
