I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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