Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
