I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
