Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
