there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
