Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
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