there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize