A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
