If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
