Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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