By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
