It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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