He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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