At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
