is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize