Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we have pet lesbian snakes
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize