Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
