I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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