So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Dicks are not precious.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
