is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
