If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Let the clothes fall where they may.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
