Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize