hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i think i have two assholes
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
