im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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