Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize