yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
