do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
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