don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize