I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
