I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
