How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
