I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
