i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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