Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
