I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize