She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
