talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
