Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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