we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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