Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
