I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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